Robin Lim is an outspoken advocate for accessible and gentle maternity care. With unstoppable dedication, she authored over 20 books and speaks around the world, trains midwives and physicians to provide respectful competent maternity care. Robin founded Bumi Sehat, a nonprofit organization which provides perinatal care, birth services, a host of ancillary services such as literacy education and geriatric yoga groups in Nyuh Kuning Village outside of Ubud Bali, Indonesia. Bumi Sehat was among the first responders to provide health care services in Aceh, Indonesia after the 2004 tsunami devastation. She works exhaustingly to run her organization and promote accessible and gentle maternity care.
Conference attendees clamored for photo opportunities with CNN’s midwife hero. Yet, there was a notable absence of journalists for Robin’s scheduled press conference. Robin used the time to speak extemporaneously with a group of admirers. She discussed her work in Bali and the e-votes which created a consumer landslide for her 2011 CNN Hero of the Year award. As always, Robin encouraged health advocates to continue working for accessible health care, health maintenance and preventative programs. She told birth stories and discussed challenges of working cooperatively with Indonesia’s health care system.
As birth guru to those who promote healthy and respectful childbirth, especially home birth. Robin Lim and Ina May Gaskin are living embodiments of the women’s self-care revolution that began in the 1960s and 1970s.
Robin spoke of the importance of love, sparking a personal cord in the hearts of her listeners. She said birth advocates should love adversarial physicians and legislators, rather than speak against them, to build bridges for midwifery practice. Some of Robin’s admirers openly criticized and validated one another’s remarks such as, “Hospitals take the baby away,” “Hospitals don’t treat women as people,” “There is no privacy,” rather than seeking common ground from which to build rapport between health care providers.
Stemming my own frustration at a destructive us vs. them mentality, but honoring Robin’s authority, I contributed only, “There are respectful providers within the hospital system also.”
Robin’s admirers’ awe reminded me of ancient Birth Cults. While good can be wrought from inspirational movements, one should never relinquish critical thinking.
Robin and I have a deep and abiding friendship, commitment to each other’s families, and are passionate about our work. Like many close friends, we don’t always agree.
Our long complex history began in 1974 at Goleta’s Dos Pueblos High School near Santa Barbara. Robin was the young campus political activist while I was the teenage ideal respresentataive for Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. We were in awe and intimidated by one another. Robin’s mother would not allow her to visit my home because she feared the cult of Transcendental Meditation. I lived with my mother at Maharishi International University’s makeshift campus in a rented stucco apartment building in nearby Isla Vista.
In time, Robin and I both spent time on the fringes of Maharishi’s Transcendental Meditation (TM) Movement where our lives crossed every few years. We were teenage destitute mothers who divorced abusive meditators. We both coincidently became midwives who practiced midwifery in Fairfield Iowa’s TM community (at different times). Thanks to Robin’s support, she allowed me to conduct medical anthropology research in 1997 (over 20 years after we met), documenting indigenous birthing practices in Bali for my graduate thesis through the University of California, San Francisco.
One of Robin’s favorite topics is Lotus Birth. “Lotus birth” means never cutting a newborn’s umbilical cord at birth. Robin speaks of lifelong attachment trauma from severing the cord. Robin advocates keeping the placenta attached to a newborn baby until the cord and attached placenta fall off, possibly a week after birth. At the minimum, Robin suggests to delay cutting the cord for several hours after birth. Robin referred to, in her view, needlessly “violent” images of scissors cutting an umbilical cord in otherwise lovely photos of gentle births.
Robin promises a peaceful future from the practice of Lotus Birth. This makes no sense! The placenta is an organ to support life inside the womb only. Every mammal cuts or eats the umbilical cord and placenta at birth. It is a far stretch to imagine lifelong trauma from cutting an umbilical cord.
Lotus birth is not scientifically valid, nor is a delay of several hours after birth before cutting an umbilical cord. For all of Robin’s fabulous work, it’s a shame that she avidly promotes this. The extreme practice of leaving a dead placenta attached to a baby can be hazardous. There is a very real risk of causing coagulopathy (dangerous clots or bleeding) by keeping a newborn attached to a dead useless placenta for a prolonged period. “Lotus birth” is a modern new-age ritual that lacks scientific basis. Promoting such radical practices can undermine the credibility of any well-intentioned health care provider, and can prove risky for babes.
Research and logic value delaying cutting the umbilical cord until it ceases pulsing oxygen and blood into a newborn (the number of minutes varies with each birth). Placental function keeps a newborn brain oxygenated while the lungs adjust to extrauterine life. Placental blood is baby’s blood; it maximizes newborn iron stores. But dead meat, e.g. a nonfunctional placenta for a mythical “Lotus Birth”, creates a needless risk.
Robin laughed with the group over dinner, “Of course I vote from Iowa, it’s a swing state. Every vote counts.”
Robin still lists the Transcendental Meditation community of Fairfield, Iowa as her American address, voting from Indonesia via absentee ballot. Earlier this week, Fairfield Iowa’s mayor declared November 13 as “Robin Lim Day”.
Robin then reached across the table, holding my hand. She smiled “Gina, can you imagine? I spoke about orgasmic birth, women’s health, sperm and contraception to Maharishi School and in Fairfield High School’s packed gymnasium. I thought of you all those years ago, as the first ‘Ru to attend high school there when you were the only TM teenager.”
“Something good is happening” I responded, quoting Maharishi. We laughed, raising our beer and hot sake to toast for divine retribution over grilled Ahi. Others at the table would never imagine our family’s shared victories over twisted cult histories.
Only last week, Robin spoke at several events in our former home-town, the home to Transcendental Meditation’s Maharishi University of Management (MUM). Robin is an inspirational, funny and charismatic speaker. Her heart warms to share her passion with a community that was integral to her family. Decades ago, the TM community valued celibacy and families were marginalized. She is (as am I ) gratified to see Fairfield’s meditation community acknowledge the importance of women and children’s issues. After our battles for children’s issues years ago, maybe there is hope. Our beloved community is awakening. Robin plans to actively maintain connection with her Fairfield supporters.
In the early 1980s, the TM community marginalized Robin, a few others, and me for our outspoken advocacy on behalf of children. Our concerns conflicted with Maharishi’s instructions to abandon children for hours daily to attend group Program (meditation) and Maharishi based meetings, atop necessary employment. Robin’s home, others’, and mine became de-facto orphanages for many TM neglected youth. Many young adults who were raised in Fairfield during those years developed very real problems.
Ironically Maharishi University of Management’s website now highlights Robin’s recent Fairfield honor, as can be seen here. MUM capitalizes on any local notoriety.
In her public talks in Iowa, Robin decried that her Fairfield honor is in a state where the practice of (non-nurse) midwifery can be tried as a felony, for practicing medicine without a license. Whereas, Certified Nurse-Midwives, like myself, are legally recognized in Iowa. A side note, Ina May Gaskin, the original advocate for home birth through her influential hippy-era book, Spiritual Midwifery, is an Iowa native.
Robin’s husband, Wil, and I stood behind Robin’s adoring crowds during the AAPPPH conference events. We caught up on family news while Robin met with other friends and adoring fans.
“That sport coat looks great on you!” I complimented Wil on his elegant jacket of raw silk.
“I picked it up at Fairfield’s Bargain Box for four dollars.” He said. We laughed with shared memories of a favorite thrift shop, where penny conscious shoppers purchase the pre-owned cast offs of Maharishi’s wealthy followers.
“That makes sense. That’s a used Raja jacket.” Bowing with my hands in prayer position over my heart, “Raja Wil. You are beaming today.” I teased him as a lofty Raja, a title with gold crown bestowed upon those who paid one million dollars for several months of prolonged meditation with Maharishi.
“Hey, You can’t beat four dollars for a tailored silk jacket. That’s even less than it originally cost for custom tailoring in India.”
Old friends are the best!
For those in the Bay Area — On Sunday evening November 18, 2012, a fundraiser to support Bumi Sehat’s work, will be held in Santa Rosa, California. For information about this event, please look here.
Donations to Robin Lim’s Bumi Sehat foundation can be made here.
“What are you going to see?” the middle-aged woman scooping my popcorn at the local cinema snack counter asked.
“The Master” I responded “Have you seen it yet?”
“Not yet. But everyone looks really disturbed when they exit the theater.” Her eyes crinkled with her smile as she reached across the counter with the red and white striped popcorn bag and water bottle that would accompany me for the film.
“Thanks for the warning!” I said, accepting my snack.
I wondered if I would find the film disturbing as I entered the dark movie theater alone, having chosen to avoid explaining (again!) about cult dynamics to my present social world.
Rather than being disturbed, I watched a compassionate and compelling portrayal of the early development of a destructive cult, even if the movie exaggerated the character of Freddie.
“The Master” by writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson, brilliantly portrays cult vulnerability, seduction, exploitation and confusion through the character of an alcoholic WWII veteran with a family mental health history named Freddie, brilliantly played by Juaquin Phoenix. Freddie falls for the charismatic and authoritative Lancaster Dodd, founder of a group called The Cause, convincingly played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Set in post-WWII, Philip Seymour Hoffman plays the leader of a cult-like group based upon the early days of L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology who presents himself as a caring author, scientist and philosopher gathering wealthy adherents to promote his work. Beginning with intimate gatherings in the homes of wealthy supporters, Lancaster Dodd promotes his teachings and provides personal support to a growing flock. By the end of the film, The Cause has grown to global proportions with real estate, a private school for uniformed youth and other programs.
Juaquin Phoenix’s Freddie is the film’s disturbed central character who struggles with alcoholism and identity as he follows The Master Dodd. The film shows the majority of the The Cause’s followers as functional, well dressed professionals united by a common purpose to spread their Master’s teachings. In much the same way as my own parents and their friends began hosting Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s closest acolytes as guests in their homes in the 1960’s, with expansion to rented halls and eventually global real estate holdings. Many exploitative groups begin exactly the same way.
According to Joe Szimhart, “The film captured early L Ron Hubbard quite well in Hoffman’s character and exposes several TRs or “Training Rundowns” that Scientology uses even today in their expensive ‘pre-Clear’ sessions. Also, it shows the son as merely going along–that son co-produced a book exposing his dad later called “Messiah or Madman?” Content for the film was extracted from this book, I believe.”
For those familiar with cult dynamics, I found the film to be an excellent depiction of a once-familiar family and social dynamic. For those who are not acquainted with cult dynamics, the film may be confusing.
Paul Thomas-Anderson’s script and camera angles are the best depiction that I’ve seen yet of a variation of my own skewed upbringing. Thank you, Paul!
This 2007 article is as appropriate now as it was then.
This is reposted from the “Transcendental Meditation archives” of website for cult expert, Rick Ross. (Forgive me, having trouble inserting links today.)
Background to the essay : A San Francisco newspaper contacted me for this essay when the David Lynch Foundation” was trying to bring TM to Bay Area schools. However, the paper’s executive reviewers decided the article was inappropriate. This also commonly happens to essays about Scientology.
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Transcendental Life
“John Lennon was shot because he began recording music again, despite Maharishi’s instructions to maintain a private life.” Randy explained on the morning of December 9, 1980, following Lennon’s murder, while I aligned spiritual necklaces of brown rudraksha beads, coral and gemstones in our store’s golden display case. Randy’s devotion to Maharishi made him a reliable source of “higher knowledge.” Bizarre as that sounds to me now, in 1980 divine retribution for ignoring Maharishi’s vision seemed perfectly plausible.
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, giggling guru to the Beatles was my parents’ spiritual Master. He and his Transcendental Meditation (TM) Movement influenced my family through three generations over four decades.
Secret initiation ceremonies honor Maharishi’s Master, Guru Dev, with chants of obeisance to a holy tradition mythically originating in Northern India. A new “Initiate” carries an offering of fruit, a white handkerchief, and fresh flowers for ritualized placement upon an altar during private meditation instruction. When teaching this “non religious method for rest and release of stress,” my parents explained, “Maharishi teaches this spiritual practice in scientific terms because we live in a scientific age. People will accept it that way. Through TM we connect with God inside ourselves in pursuit of Cosmic Consciousness.”
Devotees meditate together for four to eight hours daily inside Maharishi Enlightenment Centers around the globe and in Iowa’s hallowed Golden Domes, practicing secretive techniques for levitation, invincibility, and friendliness. Maharishi inspires personal enlightenment and world peace for all time, beginning with today’s introductory fee of $2500.00.
In padded white rooms devotees sit cross-legged upon sheets of high-density foam, provided for protection when falling earthward after failed levitation attempts. When pressed down, the special foam rebounds upward.
Maharishi always favored the wealthiest amongst us for their contributions. The Beatles, Beach Boys, Donovan, Gore Family (of Gore-TexR), Deepak Chopra, Zimmermans, Kaplans, Settles, and other wealthy devotees generated global enlightenment partially through financing real estate for Maharishi Universities, Peace Palaces, herbal products and Peace Assemblies with thousands of meditators.
TM instructors are “Governors” or “Ministers” of the Age of Enlightenment, because “they govern in the real of consciousness.” Lofty golden-crowned Rajas are spiritually responsible for large geographic regions, having paid one million dollars for their “raja training.” TM’s spiritual communities exchange the “Raam” as legal tender for purchased goods, to avoiding the use of tainted currency from the outside “world of ignorance.” They claim not to be a cult.
Believing with my well-intentioned loved ones, I watched devotees donate entire trust funds, become psychotic, and decline needed medical treatment in favor of Maharishi Ayur-Ved (R) medicinals. A few committed suicide. Our leaders taught us that hardships were brought upon ourselves. No one blamed over indulgence in trance-like meditation or a circuitous theology. After all, no one drank Kool-Aid(R).
“The world is as you visualize it. Meditate to perform spontaneous right action. You will do less and accomplish more until eventually you do nothing and accomplish everything from the source of unbounded pure awareness within.”
In 1988 my children and I left our mediation community to enter the real world, where parents are held accountable for child negligence and suicide motives are questioned. In the real world, no supreme authority holds the key to the universe.
Young adults raised in the TM Movement continue to arrive to my San Rafael home as they struggle to function outside their controlled Ayur-Vedic lifestyle. We alternately laugh and cry over shared histories, incomprehensible to outsiders.
One recent October evening in San Rafael, my heart raced with a quiet rapt audience in the auditorium, listening to a sophisticated presentation for a pilot stress reduction program. The David Lynch Foundation selected Terra Linda High School to grant $175,000 for a Transcendental Meditation(TM) club. I wished they had chosen a school elsewhere, so I would not have to come forth. My only thought was, “They cannot have these kids.”
Onstage before me, my former cult community unfolded in promotional film clips of Iowa’s TM community. I gasped to watch my old friend teaching at the Maharishi School of the Age of Enlightenment. Marilyn is my son’s godmother; I was her maid of honor. Marilyn’s Maharishi teaching job offers no medical benefits; she cannot survive on their stipend. She had confided fears about speaking her mind, lest her beloved community ostracize her. Her son had only recently spent a weekend with me, preparing to enter the outside world. He had previously learned to fear outsiders who “live in ignorance.” Not surprisingly, San Francisco’s warm accepting folks shocked him.
At the high school presentation, David Lynch foundation presenters failed to mention that twenty-minutes-twice-per-day may create an addictive state, leading to dependence upon prolonged meditation, or that increased group involvement may potentially become a suffocating group dynamic. They explained, “Transcendental Meditation(TM) is not a religion.”
Did the secretive initiation ceremony, higher teachings of God Consciousness, or mantras derived from Hindu deities cause the New Jersey Circuit Court of appeals to declare TM a religion in 1979? After educated objections, legal threats and my letter to the school board, the Lynch Foundation withdrew from my children’s high school.
Now David Lynch promotes his book, “Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness and Creativity,” explaining that creative ideas come during his daily TM sessions. The famed producer fails to mention proper Transcendental Meditation(TM) instruction, “Pay no heed to arising thoughts. Gently return attention to the mantra, allowing the thoughts to leave. You will transcend beyond thought to pure Being, the source of all thought and creativity.” Since Lynch heeds thoughts in meditation, he practices TM improperly. Does he quietly brainstorm twice daily, while receiving spiritual accolades for large donations to spread Maharishi’s teachings?
I cannot help but wonder, between creative film endeavors, if Lynch experienced the lifestyle of those committed to the method he promotes.
Gina Catena is an early “Child of the Age of Enlightenment,” raised in the Transcendental Meditation organization. She and her children left the Transcendental Meditation Movement twenty years ago and quietly recreated their lives in San Rafael, California.
Nori Muster spent several years researching, interviewing, and editing stories of adults who had been raised in a variety of cults for her latest book “Child of the Cult”.
Through skillfully applied personal narratives, psychological and sociological analysis, along with historical context for each group, Nori uses the stories of five individuals, raised in different cult groups, to illustrate how cult dynamics contribute to child neglect and abuse in totalitarian systems.
This e-book is a valuable contribution to the literature on cult dynamics, child abuse, cult recovery and personal voice.
Because this book defies tidy publishing categories, traditional publishers rejected it. They didn’t know how to market the book.
Thus, Nori opted for an e-book through amazon.
To support the children.
Yes, there is a summary chapter of an upbringing (moi) in Transcendental Meditation.
There are virtually no profits from sales of this book. This is a public service document to help former-children from cults, now in recovery. This is also a useful tool for therapists, school teachers and social workers who suspect that youth under their professional guidance may be living in a totalitarian abusive system.
About Nori : After working in the publications dept of the International Society of Krishna Consciousness. Ms. Nori Muster authored “Betrayal of the Spirit” about her time with the inner core of the Hare Krishna group.
Nori is an activist on behalf of children injured in cults, and on cult recovery in general.
You may read more about Nori at norimuster.com
Dr. Patrick O’Reilly provides an introductory Continuing Education essay for the psychology profession – linked with this respected online Continuing Education (CE) provider : Psychotherapy with Former Cult Members.
Former cult members are often ineffectively treated by well-intentioned therapists. Unless a therapist has specifically sought training for cult recovery, she or he may have minimal background about former cult members’ myriad of concerns – such as shame, social isolation, social and professional handicaps, financial losses, separation from family, depression, vulnerability, self-distrust and possible Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, to name a few.
Further complicating therapy – many former cultists do not even realize they were in a cult. A therapist must identify if a client’s self-described depression or vulnerabilities result from a cult history. After identifying cult history, the therapist can better help a client or refer to an appropriate specialist.
Please send Dr. O’Reilly’s CE essay to therapists and psychologists. The concerns are more common than many realize. In-depth resources are available elsewhere, including some links in this blog’s margin.
The following story demonstrates an inner drama that can occur to any true-believer who stands steadfast in spiritual fantasy. Complex cognitive dissonance is exhibited by many who leave one cult while still carrying their fantasy belief system.
After leaving one cult, many former cultists incorporate other equally egregious teachers, forming an inner multi-cult-uralism to avoid the pain of facing life losses related to following one charlatan.
Following a few paragraphs of family background guru-history, a scheduled “reading” is transcribed below to demonstrate how both the Reverend Carol Lockhart McClendon and any predatory guru-psychic flatters and encourages vulnerable clients.
Background :
“The Great White Brotherhood” (GWB) aka Reverend Carol Lockhart McClendon convinced my mother that her two recent gurus, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (The Beatles guru) and the younger Hasmukh Taylor became financial grubbing charlatans because other spirits overtook their bodies. This fantasy excuse for unethical behavior states that original good spirits left those bodies because they completed their Earthly work. This phenomenon is identified in New Age circles as a “walk-in”.
According to the GWB, early devotees of the Maharishi in the 1960s during the Beatles heyday received true spiritual teachings from an enlightened “Master.” Then the last few decades of increasing grandiosity within Maharishi’s TM Movement – e.g. rajas, palaces, costly prayer treatments (yagyas) – are attributed to leadership by a walk-in spirit assuming Maharishi’s identity. For a true devotee, the Maharishi could never have become so materialistic. Belief in a fantastical “walk-in spirit” allows one to deny having succumbed to skilled con artists. Others believe that Maharishi’s followers (not Maharishi himself) orchestrated the secretive and wealthy inner workings. Such justifications protect one from facing the painful cognitive dissonance between belief and reality.
Cognitive dissonance threatens a disciple’s vulnerable psyche such that a convoluted justification is required to maintain a fantasy worldview. This is common with many who slowly awaken to having been misled by one spiritual deception, only to succumb to another.
The deemed GWB also explained that the person currently known as Hasmukh Taylor, coincidently, is also a “walk-in”. In this case, my mother believes she (and now I also) are the only people on Earth who understand the grand spiritual deception by these walk-ins to Maharishi and Hasmukh Taylor.
The simpler explanation – that many spiritual seekers succumbed to inspirational spiritual con artists – is too threatening to a true believer’s sense of self.
In this mindset, the person Hasmukh Taylor is a masquerade overtaken by another soul using Hasmukh’s body. No logical conversation will convince my believing mother to the contrary. She comforts her sense of rejection from her beloved young guru Hasmukh by the belief that the original Hasmukh is gone, and another spirit assumed his identity.
In reality, Mr. Hasmukh Taylor ceased responding to this one disciple because I directly threatened to expose him after he had accepted money from my vulnerable aging mother. As deemed disciples, my mother and her friends believed they had earned the right to receive initiation from him after nearly a year of study. Hasmukh thus established himself as the personal true guru to a small group of my mother’s friends, demanding spiritual subservience. She and a few friends enthusiastically offered services and funds for the right to be accepted into Hasmukh’s discipleship. This typical cycle of manipulation creates dependency through the use of praise, judgement, withholding and then honor bestowed by an unethical leader.
As expected after I confronted Mr. Taylor about his shenanigans, during a private audience with this deemed guru, he ceased responding to my mother’s telephone calls and emails. She was crushed by his rejection. I informed her that Hasmukh ceased speaking with her because I threatened to expose him.
Rather than painfully acknowledging that she had fallen for (another) spiritual con-artist, this disciple (my mother) is convinced that she maintains a spiritual connection what-she-calls the “original Hasmukh” and that “Hasmukh II” (as she now refers to him) builds his earthly following using Hasmukh’s writings, through his website for Pranava Yoga, and charging for spiritual seminars. Unfortunately I cannot also protect my mother’s friends who continue to follow Hasmukh, believing that he is a true guru.
Such a psychological house of cards is the inevitable result of “New Age” spirituality brought to Illogical conclusions. Those so-called gurus who peddle spiritual scams feed off pain and isolation of the vulnerable.
Seeking counsel by using familiar resources, my well-intentioned mother discussed her concerns with another spiritual con-artist who claims to channel Earth’s spiritual leadership – “The Great White Brotherhood” no less!
The “Reverend” Carol Lockhart McClendon claims to channel a group of spiritual beings ostensibly called “The Great White Brotherhood” (Wikipedia definition) (GWB). My mother has paid for these consultations for years, believing she receives a direct line to our planet’s highest spiritual governing body. As channel for the GWB, Reverend Carol Lockhart McClendon has a small group of clients. She also holds meetings and mini-retreats for her followers.
Concern for my mother’s confusion about conflicting ‘spiritual’ lies, and Reverend Lockhart McClendon’s advice contrary to that from my mother’s physician, prompted me to schedule a “reading” with this self proclaimed spiritual channel.
According to her website “Carol uses a process of working with spiritual guides, the Christ Consciousness, the Council and the Great White Brotherhood. These energies work with each individual to explore questions related to this life, past lives, future lives and parallel lives, as well as working with the client’s energy system. “
After my $150 check had cleared, Reverend Lockhart McClendon provided a telephone “reading” at our appointed hour on May 11, 2011. As you read the transcript please notice her cheerful flattering manner for vulnerable clients.
My “Reading” with the Great White Brotherhood follows :
Carol : Hello? is this Gina? It’s so good to hear you, honey. I know your mother well. It’s wonderful to work with several members of a family.
Gina : Hello Carol. It’s nice to meet you, so to speak. You have a warm voice. My mother has been appreciative for your services for years.
Carol: Well bless your heart. We’ll have a good reading.
Gina : Would you please explain to me how this works?
Carol : The Great White Brotherhood comes in to raise a person’a vibratory field so that you can plug into your main source and receive information yourself. They are about empowering you. Sometimes a person is too close to a situation to see clearly. Objectivity, they can be necessary to help a person redirect to their own inner source.
I never encourage people to become dependent upon me. They, the Brotherhood I mean, direct everyone back to their own source. They offer only support and validation for a person’s own perceptions. A person should not call weekly, for example. Everyone must act on their own. I help clients to be comfortable with “them” (The Great White Brotherhood). Because of this approach, clients maintain their own connection to their source and emotional independence.
This information is coming in to this planet everywhere now. The time has come to support this. The Great White Brotherhood is coming through many channels to uplift the planet. They place seed information, do you understand? S-E-E-D?
Gina : Yes, I understand. My mother exposed me to such teachings all my life.
Carol: Good for you. Then you have an advantage over others new to the Path. They place seed information in at least 5 places with others so teachings are leaked to uplift the world. Do you understand the process of how they work? Has your mother told you, or should I explain it?
Gina : It’s better if you explain it, just to be sure I have it straight. It’s been awhile.
Carol : Ok, I will begin with a prayer of protection so that we are all protected by the light. Then I will step aside and they will come through my body. They usually begin with a monologue. Often your questions will be answered within the monologue. When they are done, they are gone. I will trance and observe the proceedings; it’s more fun for me that way to observe the whole thing. Your akashic record comes up. There is one thing very important that you must do. (a moment of serious silence)
Gina : What’s that?
Carol: When you are done with your questions, you should always ask “If there anything I need to know that I haven’t already asked?” That will allow them the opportunity to read anything anything else of relevance from your akashic record.
Gina : Ok, I’ll add that to my list.
Carol : Then we shall begin the prayer now. Are you ready?
Gina : Yes.
Carol : Call your guides around you. We all have spiritual guides you know. They are available for you to call them to support you at any time.
The white light surrounds and envelopes Gina and all her guides right now, that she maybe receptive to the Great White Brotherhood and heavenly host. May Gina be protected from negativity and guided to her highest truth. May I also be protected and blessed as they access the higher wisdom to raise Gina’s vibratory rate and connection to the source of truth. The air and miles between us are drenched in the white light to support our work today. We ask these things in thy name. Amen
(After the prayer, Rev. Carol Lockart switched to a slow paced, controlled, deeper voice)
Carol as the GWB : You have been on a long spiritual journey of many lifetimes. You’ve come so far already. You have already traversed 2/3 of the path toward your spiritual goal. You are taking flight now in an individuating way. You have walked this path in so many lifetimes and are now near the end of your journey. We are here to tell you you have arrived in the last third of your consciousness expansion.
We must tell you something that you may not like. Your body is your vessel for this journey. You are to complete your spiritual journey this lifetime. But remember this.
You must begin to take better care of your vessel, so that your vessel can carry you for this last 1/3 of your journey.
Things are changing for you. Your life will become smoother. You will find that you think of things and they come across your path in unexpected ways. Life will become must easier and smoother for you. Your rewards are upon you.
Do you have any questions for us?
Gina : Yes. My mother has been speaking with you for many years. She finds great comfort in your guidance. She was both relieved and concerned about some things you explained to her. I would like to understand these things better myself.
Carol as the GWB : Yes. Continue.
Gina : As you know, my mother was devoted follower of the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for many years. Her life was dictated by her role as a TM Initiator. She tells me that you explained that the changes she saw in Maharishi’s Transcendental Movement in the last years of his life were because he had stepped out of his body and another soul entered his body.
Carol as the GWB : Yes, that is so.
Gina : Would you please explain more about this to me? How does this work and why?
Carol as the GWB : There are souls to receive the blessings of the guru. When those early acolytes received their blessings, they could move on. That guru’s work was done and he could leave. A “Walk-in” is another soul, another entity if you will, who assumed the body of the Maharishi. This allowed the guru who instructed your mother to move beyond to his next role. All that the original acolytes received was good and pure teachings. Do you understand?
Gina : So you say that another entity assumed the body and identity of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi? My mother said you explained the new entity did not present true teachings. That is why the TM Movement became such an expensive business enterprise.
Carol as the GWB : Yes. Fresh and new acolytes need the new person to hang onto. The original acolytes had outgrown the old teacher, so he left and a new teacher is there for those who remain in kindergarten, if you will. You cannot fit a size 6 into a size 5 shoe. It is like that. The original acolytes grew to a larger dimension, so the soul in the body left and another came in. This is a slow process you see, as the new soul and the original soul slowly make the shift.
Gina : What year would you say this happened?
Carol as the GWB : The debriefing process was complete in 1973.
Gina : So, in 1973 Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s body had a new soul inhabiting his body?
Carol as the GWB : Yes, the walk-in.
Gina : Hmm. I understand. My mother spent 3 months with Maharishi in Mallorca Spain in 1971. That implies her six months with Maharisihi in 1976 were with someone else. You gave the same explanation for her more recent guru Hasmukh Taylor. You said he left his body and another entity took over.
Carol as the GWB : Yes, he is still in the process of transitioning, but another is taking over so he is liberated to move to another realm. You see, when someone outgrows a size 5 and becomes a 6, they must move forward to the next level. He has moved to a higher realm and can no longer fit the identity he has been.
Gina : My mother says you attributed my concern about Hasmukh’s misleading behaviors due to my spiritual atunement to this process?
Carol as the GWB : Yes, Gina, your preconception of this occurrence is due to your high spiritual evolution. You detected a change of this guru’s energy. You knew he was not quite the same. He was true to the new identity, which you perceived as different from the original. You see, the walk-in self is often not even aware of this process himself, but you detected it.
Gina : So, you are saying that the walk-in person himself might not be aware of the process?
Carol as the GWB : Correct.
Gina : I see. My mother is amazed that she is only person on the planet who knows that other beings inhabited both the bodies of Maharishi and Hasmukh Taylor. More correctly – that would be 3 people on the whole planet who know this – my mother, you and now I have this insight. This seems incredible to me. My mother is grateful for your explanation. However, this information causes her some distress. Her beloved friends continue to follow teachers who you claim to be entities using gurus’ bodies. She doesn’t know how to address this to her friends, nor within herself.
Carol as the GWB : Original acolytes have reached a certain peak and new ones are at kindergarten level. Those that say in the teachings have other lessons to learn with the new energies. They should stay with the teacher. It is not up to your mother to alert them. They have to figure this out for themselves. As they grow spiritually, they will feel the change in the gurus’ energy, just as you did Gina.
For those of you further along on the path, the lesson for you is patience. This is your spiritual lesson, be patient as you are so far along. The others might not want to question yet. Do not interfere with their information and teachings.
The key to being so far along on the spiritual path is to know when to say something and when not to say anything. The best is to wait until others’ ask. Do not offer the information.
Gina : So, you say my mother and I are not to disclose this information to others?
Carol as the GWB : That is correct.
Gina : Hmmmm. In general, how would one know if a changed personality is due to another walk-in assuming a person’s identity? It can be unnerving to wonder who has switched out use of various identities.You are describing a world with zombie-like beings assuming others’ bodies. At any time, someone such as my mother, could attribute a personal disagreement to a deemed personality change from another soul assuming someone’s identity. This level of delusion can potentially extend to a dangerous extent. How is a believing but vulnerable person to cope?
Carol as the GWB : That is when you need to trust. See the change in personality. That there is a shift when you see the change. Prayer will ground your mother. You mother actually knew when the shift took place. It takes place over a long time. If it keeps coming to you again and again, it is not about the person, it is about you recognizing true teachings and rejecting that which is false. Do you understand what we are saying?
Gina : Yes, I believe I understand as well as anyone from Earth can understand this. I’m also interested in the GWB’s referral to Carol to discuss my mother’s medical conditions. Carol suggested that my mother defer her prescribed thyroid medication and use iodine drops. Does the GWB or Carol have access to clients’ medical records to make such recommendations?
Carol as the GWB : (after a brief hesitation) When we offer health guidelines, we always say to “clear this with the physician and to find fi the physician will agree with the plan.” Iodine is an organic substance, any physician would agree that this can only be beneficial. Organics will always work. You mother should take small amounts and clear it with her physician. The thyroid is a master organ as far as organs are concerned. Taking iodine drops will take some time to take affect. Organic substances always work. There is no harm. Your mother’s physician would agree.
Gina : OK. Is there anything I need to know that I have not already asked?
Carol as the GWB : There is much to come your way. You came across high consciousness. encourage you to trust what you perceive. You are on the final leg on the edge of graduating to another level this lifetime. Remember that when one door closes, another opens. This is a very exciting time for you. You do not need to be concerned with the guides and how they will impact. Your guides are always with you even without your concern.
Gina : Thank you for the encouraging words. Now please listen to what I have to say. My mother, like others, consults you in times of vulnerability. Your words may offer a degree of short term comfort.
Please be aware that your talk about walk-ins confuses an older woman’s sense of reality. When a person has a tenuous grasp upon reality, such delusions can push a person further into uncertainty. You’ve established a zombie-like world where spirits assume other’s bodies, in which a vulnerable person has trouble navigating.
Your suggestions about her medical care are also of questionable sources. Your work could construed as elder abuse or practicing medicine without a license. You should be careful. I’m paying close attention to your activities. With your spiritual access to google, you may find that I’ve been published and spoken at conferences about cults and undue influence. I have personal friends in the legal and psychology profession who work in this arena. It is your prerogative if you choose to hear my words as a threat. I suggest you be careful. Do you understand what I am saying?
Carol as the GWB : Yes, we understand your words. Please understand we do not speak of zombies. We have never discussed zombies!
Gina : You are right. “Zombie” is the term I am using. It is a natural extension of the world of walk-ins that you speak. You do not know the full situations of your clients. You should take care not to plant risky delusions to those who consult you. You could perhaps be held liable for undue influence. “Walk-in” or “zombie”- the semantics are unimportant. You are planting seeds of fear and identity confusion to clients whose psychological and physical states you are not licensed to influence.
Carol as the GWB : We understand. We will leave now. (a moment of silence ensued)
Carol : (with a normal voice, no longer metered and slow) I observed your interaction with them. I understand your concern for your mother. She has one reading left that she paid for. I will refund her money for that reading and not speak with her again. She no longer needs our services.
Gina : I think that is a wise decision.
Carol : Could you tell me what you mother’s diagnosis is?
Gina : It is not my place to discuss another’s medical or psychological state with you. And it is not your place to reveal information about one client to another. I merely suggest that you be careful as you make your living by deluding the vulnerable. Thank you for your time. I wish you a good day.
Setting : 1969 small town Southern California. My father is a military engineer. This is next of a series about growing up in the early days of the Transcendental Meditation Movement. My parents ran a TM Center out of our home
It’s Tuesday, weekly meditation evening. I clear the table and wash dinner dishes, while Mom, Dad and Gunnar arrange chairs in a circle in the living room. Mom and Dad talk about keeping our home vibrations pure to support group meditation. “We must enliven silence within each of us, without disruption.”
My mother carefully lights incense and Dad dims lights before other meditators arrive. I remove the pink telephone handset from the wall receiver, wrapping it firmly in a kitchen towel and stuffing it behind the blender to muffle the noisy dial tone. The home must be silent for Tuesday’s mediation meetings.
Mom explains, “This evening’s tape is about the seven stages of consciousness, Gina. This is important, you should stay and listen. You will integrate Maharishi’s knowledge and reach Cosmic Consciousness while young. You are spared the stress and problems that others experience before earning initiation. You must have been very special in a past life to earn this opportunity!”
Our parents often invite us to join their meetings, as they want Maharishi’s knowledge to uplift our impressionable minds. “This is more important than your school homework,” they explain.
I arrange flowers, fruit, and glasses on the table with a pitcher of distilled water while Mom and Dad go change and prepare for the meeting. I don’t where Gunnar is. Herb Tea is ready to simmer later. Sometimes our parents allow me to thread the delicate reel-to-reel audio tape sent weekly from Maharishi’s regional offices in Los Angeles or New York.
Gunnar and I dutifully greet arriving guests, “Welcome” we smile with breathy voices as we’d been taught. “Please remove your shoes and leave them here.” we point to the mixed shoe collection in our entryway. Padding in stocking feet, we escort guests to the encircled chairs in the living room. “Please sit and enjoy the silence until everyone has arrived. Refreshments will be served later.”
Like a silent actor, I try to feel special and enlightened with my brother, but I just want to leave.
When the living room circle is complete, our parents lead group mediation. The adults sit straight with closed eyes. Upturned palms rest lightly in their laps, feet flat on the floor, or gently crossed at the ankle. Incense infused stone silence with uniform seating is a normal weekly event. Suppressing a sneeze from incense, Gunnar and I signal one another, pointing to the front door. We nod and tiptoe out of the house during adult meditation.
I breathe deeply of spring’s evening air, away from suffocating silence indoors. Mom and Dad do not call us back. Our parents are the local group leaders; they must maintain spiritual calm. They expect us to be perfect enlightened children. We peddle our banana-seat bicycles to friends’ homes to watch television or do homework.
A few hours later, Elaine’s parents send me home because it’s bedtime. My brother and I arrive home as guests leave, ritually saluting “Jai Guru Dev” they shake hands and depart. “Jai Guru Dev” means “Praises to Guru Dev”, honoring Maharishi’s deceased spiritual Master for this path to enlightenment.
Mom and Dad come to my bedroom, calm and relaxed from meditating, “Good night Gina. Thank you for leaving us alone with our group.” They hug and kiss me quickly good night. They leave and I hear them down the hall doing the same with Gunnar. They never reprimand us, nor inquire about our unaccounted departures during meditation. I wonder if they care.
On day at dinner, Mom announces :
“Charlie Lutes arrives tomorrow to lead meditation. Gina, Charlie will sleep in your bedroom tomorrow, so this evening, move into Gunnar’s room. Bring everything you’ll need for two days and nights, so you won’t disturb Charlie tomorrow while he is our guest.”
Before I could respond to my mandatory relocation, Mom continues :
“Charlie was Maharishi’s first initiate in the USA. He is a retired business man, using business skills to build Maharishi’s following. He is pure and spiritually evolved. We are honored to have him visit.”
“Remember when I told you that Roland Olson had been a pharaoh? Well, Charlie is a true Kshatriya, of India’s warrior caste. Maharishi is also a Kshatriya. They are both spiritual warriors who battle the world’s dark forces and ignorance. Charlie used to be a great military general. Now Charlie uses his part warrior experiences to battle spiritual darkness.”
Mom sits up taller and smiles, “Maharishi says we are all kshatriyas’ battling darkness by bringing light to the battle the world’s darkness.”
Gunnar and I stop playing footsie beneath the dining table, while we listen. I had seen television footage of the Vietnam War. I envision a military commando arriving from Southeast Asia to teach meditation.
Mom continues:
“In past lives, Charlie was Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun and Alexander the Great. He is one of history’s greatest Kshatriyas, coming to teach meditation for a few days.”
I’ heard of Attila the Hun and Alexander the Great. I imagine a gladiator visitor. Surprised that they are the same person and coming to our house, I look across the table to wide-eyed Gunnar. Confused, we simultaneously turn questioningly toward Dad. Dad nods in agreement with Mom, and goes on,
“Maharishi says we are all Kshatriyas, the warrior caste, battling evil forces by enlivening humanity’s pure consciousness. In his past lives, Charlie was many of history’s greatest conquerors, when he was less spiritually evolved. Each lifetime he evolved as an improvement upon his past. Charlie used his innate leadership to become a successful businessman. Now retired, Charlie leads our spiritual army in Maharishi’s service.”
Gunnar looks excited and asks “Will he bring guns or swords like a G.I. Joe?” He imagines hosting the living embodiment of his war doll.
I freeze while contemplating how to tell my friends that Alexander the Great and Attila the Hun will be sleeping in my bedroom. I decide it’s better to say nothing.
“What does he wear?” I ask, wondering how I will explain a living gladiator to the neighbors.
Dad laughs, “He wears normal business clothes in this lifetime.” Gunnar looks disappointed. I sigh with relief that I don’t have to explain gladiator in our driveway.
Having just returned from 2010’s annual conference of the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) in New York, my friends at home inquire what I found the most impactful from this year’s conference. Naturally, my friends inquired about my audio – visual presentation of Maharishi’s influence on the Beatles. In reality, that presentation was a no-brainer, because I revealed what any Maharishi devotee or former devotee understands as Maharishi’s teachings within the Beatles songs. More about that another time.
The most rewarding aspect of these ICSA conferences – the Anti-Cult Cult (ACC), as my children say – are my conversations with those who study destructive cults and coercive persuasion around the world. Over the years, some of us developed warm friendships through sharing perspectives on our pasts, integrating eclectic history (to say the least) into current identities. Some attendees are researchers and writers on long-term effects of destructive cults, others are peripheral in the field (like me). Still others consult to governments and publish on the seduction methods of charismatic destructive groups. Not all attendees have direct cult experience; some are therapists, academicians, and attorneys who work with these issues professionally without ever having been directly involved. Their humility, knowledge and commitment are inspirational. There is comfortableness to be with a group that does not judge others because of an unusual history.
The majority of those who attend ICSA conferences are intelligent, humble, respectful, accomplished and committed to supporting personal freedoms. Through various languages and our multi-cult-ural exposure, attendees apply obscure background and studies to positively impact and protect others from devastating mindf**ks.
Over the years, a few attendees impressed upon ICSA and cult experts that those raised in cults have different issues than do former cultists who joined and left a group. After all, those raised in cults lack a “pre-cult identity” to which we can return after leaving a totalitarian ideology. Thanks to unrelenting efforts of Joyce and Michael Martella, ICSA’s recovery workshops offer special tracks for Second Generation Adults (SGAs).
Now – to my personal highlight of the conference – an in depth conversation with a woman I’ll call Susan.
Susan and I initially met a few years ago, over dinner at an ICSA conference. Once again, we found ourselves sitting together at dinner on July 4th, enjoying a fabulous multi-course meal, fireworks through a window-wall over New York City’s skyline, lights reflected in the nighttime river.
Cult is as cult does, beyond the façade. We know that. Yet, it was still surprising for both Susan and me to learn the many similarities in our current lives.
Susan was raised in a polygamist group in the midwest. Like me, she left the group with her children, obtained an education and career. Her children are now adults and conducting their lives. She remains single.
Susan was raised with small town support of large families. Everyone dressed simply and worked hard with an agricultural and manual labor based economy. At one point, her father took another wife who was 14 years old. A strict interpretation of Christian and Mormon scripture provided their overriding life guidance.
I was raised in global setting that eventually settled into small town Iowa, with a Hindu-esque flavor, devout women wore sarees, men had assigned colors for their suits. Celibacy was the highest calling for the spiritually devout. Other guidelines about diet, clothing, sleeping, architecture developed over time. Occult-esoteric spiritual beliefs guided life decisions. Many live outside the group, but remain governed by occult dictates of Maharishi and others. I also remain single.
Both groups support a spiritual hierarchy with peer pressure for certain practices. The economic basis of towns which surround our respective groups is dependent upon the cult’s contribution to the larger local economy. As Susan said “Local law enforcement and others won’t interfere with polygamist society, because the outsiders are economically dependent upon the contributions from polygamist groups. Many of the sheriffs attended school with the polygamist men. They are old friends and won’t interfere. There have been mixed marriages between those raised in polygamy and outsiders. No one will address the problems directly. The entire larger community is complicit with the polygamist lifestyle.”
I concurred, saying, “The same situation exists with Fairfield, Iowa. Even the current town mayor is a ‘Governor of the Age of the Enlightenment’ whose son was arrested with other TM kids in the largest illegal marijuana growing bust in Northern California. The TM mayor does a good job managing the town. Fairfield’s lagging economy was revived through the influx of Maharishi’s followers. There are long-standing friendships between locals and TMers, shared community projects, and some intermarriages. No one will publicly address the misrepresentations, damaged psyches, or financial deceptions inherent with the TM Movement’s programs.”
While the larger communities surrounding both our groups are well aware of various child neglect and repressed activities, economic dependency halts societal intervention.
Critical thinkers from both of our communities, who can no longer tolerate the larger dysfunction, usually relocate to create lives elsewhere – ourselves included. Both cult mentality and the surrounding mixed-cult mentality repress free expression and political activism. We suspect this must be common with communities adjacent to other sect groups.
Susan and I both gave birth at home with unlicensed birth attendants within our respective groups. We both lived with a generalized distrust of the medical profession. We were lucky in that our children and we were healthy! We both left with our children, the oldest child was ten years old when we left. We both raised our children largely outside of the group dictates and social support. We both went deeply into debt to obtain education and career while raising our children. We’ll probably never fully catch up financially. We both blundered while learning to function socially and professionally without background training. We both made it!
We both love many people from our cult-based pasts. Some loved ones from our past maintain contact, many reject us for leaving and even more so for publicly revealing the underbelly of our respective heritage.
We also discussed how many cult ‘experts’ don’t understand our mixed allegiances and ongoing effects upon our daily lives. We cannot completely leave the group-think in our past because our families carry multi generational effects. We cannot have healthy identity if we pretend that the first decades of our lives never happened. We both agree that it’s not worth denying our past to maintain a relationship. We’ve tried; it doesn’t work. And thus we remain single.
Susan said “I love the 14 year-old my father married. Not that I agree with that lifestyle, but she is part of my family. I recently ran into my ex mother-in-law (still living in polygamy), she said she misses me and still loves me. That must have been hard for her. We were happy to see one another.”
I explained my aging parents; my father died last year, still in fantasy-think. My father believed he must have been a terrible person in a past life, that his decades of crippling pain were punishment for past life transgressions, not due to his stubborn refusal to obtain proper medical care. He spent thousands of dollars on Maharishi’s various mystical treatments. As the next of kin, Susan and I try to keep our elders safe despite the challenges of fantasy-based conversations. Yet we simultaneously keep an emotional distance to protect our own sanity and careers.
Susan and I discussed what we called the third-generation effects in our respective families.
Our adult children are divided between influences from idealistic well-intentioned cult-think family members who accuse us : “You mother is blaming others. She’s not taking responsibility for her life.” We both find that our grown children direct their greatest frustrations and anger at us.
Both Susan and I were the only family members who explained the awkward past to our children, apologized for our contribution to continuing the legacies when we were still sorting our own heads. We absorb justifiable anger from our adult children. We are the ones who acknowledge the confusing mixed messages, our errors in judgement, and give as we can personally and professionally to prevent future such abuses. On some level, our activism keeps the wounds open for our adult children.
On a lighter note, coincidently Susan and I were both born in New York, before our parents’ involvement with extreme sects. The New York conference was a shared homecoming, to more innocent childhood times and exploring the city we love but had not properly learned to navigate!
We had similar conversations with others from around the world whose children were born within dogmatic groups, now adults in mainstream society, and living with cross cult-ural influences.
While ICSA and others in the cult studies field begin to study and publish about SGAs, time marches on. Many SGAs are middle-aged and older. We brainstorm among ourselves to support our third-generation adults, trying to provide a loving family with open communication, without denying the past. Many of our adult children feel we over-emphasize the past. Another woman raised in polygamy shared her grown son’s insight : “It will take several generations to get this out of our family, won’t it?”
So, my highlights of participating with ICSA or the ACC? It can be both rewarding and exhausting to connect with others with similar eclectic interests. Research and writings in this field continue to grow, documenting our realities, validating experiences and benefiting others. One friend said, “We are bonded by a shared pain.”
My children ask “How does involvement with an ICSA conference differ from attending Maharishi’s various advanced courses around the world?” I explain that ICSA is not a destructive group, there is no requirement on political nor religious beliefs, no lifestyle dictates, nor dictated sexual orientation, there is no charismatic unaccountable leadership, there are no secret inner teachings for which must earn the right to access, no mystical ceremonies (operating AV equipment was a mystical rite for me!). ICSA is a group, as any honest human group, with a common purpose. We rejoice in our shared common purpose, we don’t always agree, we share, discuss, agree-to-disagree, and then return to our private lives. We believe in using our past to advance the common good. For those of us who live with ongoing cross cult-ural influences – connecting and learning from one another is invaluable!
A young adult (identity withheld on request) sent an email titled “Getting out of the mindset.” In an extensive self-revelatory and reflective message, this young adult explained having been born and raised in the TM community of Fairfield, Iowa, educated K-12 in Maharishi School of the Age of Enlightenment (MSAE) including some time at Maharishi University of Management (MUM).
While grateful for the deep connections of close friends in the precious home community, this person’s doubts about TM’s validity spurred personal searching into the background of TM and Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. This person concluded that TM is not what the teachings portray. The young adult wrote of the ensuing personal liberation from a restrictive mindset, “ever since I have been skeptical of about every idea I have, realizing it may or may not be true. Once you embrace that idea you become more powerful, you have more control over your mind and your life, and I have become a happier, smarter, more understanding person because of it.”
This person sent an email because, “Since this first big anti-TM event I have still been unable to completely free myself of the TM doctrine… and still hold some concept that TM might be special…. Indoctrination is frightening, and letting go of world views you have had since you were old enough to understand them is a tough process.. I keep wanting to move out of Fairfield but the utopian style community the movement has established here is hard to escape. I have many, many friends who I love dearly here, and to leave them behind is a scary thought. What saddens me is that most of my friends are still in the TM mindset to some degree. None of them take it very seriously but it still remains in the back of their head that TM is special, jyotish can tell them what will happen in their lives, and that nature can “support” certain things they do. If you have any interesting stories or points to relate to me about my process of escape I would love to hear them! The topic interests me a lot.”
Name withheld by request
Full email not reproduced here at the writer’s request; only a few pertinent quotes included above.
Gina’s comment to readers of this blog: I am neither a professional exit counselor, nor therapist. I hold a deep respect for the potential of existential and psychological crisis when one questions all they have been raised to believe, and the community they love. Many from the TM Movement have been close to others’ psychotic breaks or suicide attempts when the duress of such personal crisis hits. Thus, I avoid acting in a therapeutic role and do not accept clients for cult recovery assistance. Professionals in the field of cult recovery are linked to the right on this blog. The young adult, above, already formed personal conclusions about involvement with the TM Movement. The writer, previously unknown to me, requested personal stories about leaving TM. My response follows.
Hello _____,
Thank you for your kind and heartfelt letter. I sigh deeply.
You are intelligent and independent thinking. Good for you! Your compassionate self and social analysis will serve you well in life!
Your anguish is real. It is hard to leave a utopian community and mindset. Oh so hard. However, in a true utopia, you would not fear reprisal from expressing your own opinions. The outside world is not so scary, not tomasic, not full of rakshasas as you have been told. However, you will never again find the “instant community” of enmeshed, almost extended family, to which you are accustomed in Fairfield.
You CAN, with time, develop meaningful friendships and deep connections, with others outside of Fairfield. You can meet others who are willing to question themselves, share discussions of same, and support one another in finding one’s own path of integrity through life. However, the bonds are not instant. Unlike cult life, healthy bonds are not instantaneous. True connection develops over time, sharing consistently with integrity, and with acceptance of differing opinions.
It is true — you will never find the intensity of social closeness… e.g. enmeshment… that you experience in Fairfield, unless you join another cult!
Fairfield IS a special place, but it is not totally unique. Other cult based communities offer their version of the same social dynamics in which you were raised. There is a range of group-think within Fairfield, as you well know. This is also a common phenomenon in neighborhoods surrounding other cult communities throughout the world.
It is normal to be anxious about losing your loved ones and family from expressing your opinion in a cult setting. In a noncult setting, it is extremely abnormal to have such anxiety. You have normal responses to an abnormal situation. It can be frustrating to have circuitous thought-stopping conversations that return forever to TM, Ayurveda, and jyotish to solve everything. You probably don’t want to hurt the feelings of those you love by directly saying “That’s ridiculous!”
You are correct, in my opinion — once you embrace the ability to question EVERYTHING — you become more personally “powerful”.. thus the name of my blog “Coming to Life.”
I respect your desire for anonymity, as your social and professional connections remain TM and Fairfield based. Some of those whom I love in Fairfield are well aware of my online activism against the TMOrg and Maharishi’s leadership; others have ended our friendship over my outspokenness. You see, one is predicted to fail if they leave the deemed support of the deemed-utopia. Instead, others and myself have succeeded on the outside. What greater threat could there be?
You requested personal stories of “escape.” In that vein, I offer a bit of personal experience. You may find it helpful.
I, too, dearly love the Fairfield community. I was the first ‘ru to graduate from Fairfield High School in 1975, before MIU prep began a middle school or high school. My daughter attended K-2nd grade at MIU Prep (MSAE’s precursor). We will always miss the idealistic “loving” community that you call home.
Like avoiding social heroin, we could never again live in such a restrictive setting. And like a recovered heroin addict, we will always miss the addictive high of our former community’s enmeshment. Truly, there are many in Fairfield who I love deeply and forever. I will not name them. You and I must know many of the same people.
The only resources that I can offer you, are those linked on my blogsite. You can, of course, reach toward the “extended TM family” of the grown kids who left. They help one another throughout the world. In most major cities in the US there are small groups of young adults who come from Fairfield. They support one another. I don’t have a listing of such. It’s not my place to disclose who I’m in touch with. You could ask around for contacts, perhaps older siblings of your friends. As you know, there is a range of continued belief in TM and Maharishi. Many former TMers follow Amachi or other gurus. Some joined born-again Christian groups or the Mormons to provide instant community.
I suggest that you apply to a non-TM university somewhere. You will sharpen your mind while developing relationships with other motivated young adults and university faculty based upon a commonality of interests, rather than based upon adoption of another’s dogma.
Obviously from my online voice, I’ve rejected most of the TMO official teachings and lifestyle. My home even has a south facing entrance! I still prefer natural fiber clothing and a healthy lifestyle. I still like Indian food! Unlike many TM kids, I’ve never been a rebellious party-animal.
After leaving Fairfield, my (now grown) children were raised with swim team, little league and the Boy Scouts in an upper middle class suburb. We’ve made lifelong friends with amazing people who never heard of Maharishi, other than “Oh, the Beatles followed him briefly!”. We spent some time with Unity church, to give my children a respect for open spirituality. No more church or spiritual labels, now that the kids are grown. My grown children live honest lives of integrity; they do not attend church. Yes, it was immensely difficult for me to learn to connect with non-TMers, to consciously eliminate my TM-based vocabulary and worldview. But it is possible. If I could do it without cult recovery information and resources, and no other ex-TMers to assist, then you certainly can succeed! I suggest accessing professional cult-recovery resources; your adjustment will be much smoother with information that is now readily available.
My father died last year in fantasy TM-think, after decades of needless pain while paying for costly TM cures through yagyas, ayurveda, jyotish, mystical talisman gemstones and other such. My aging mother continues the same vein while spouting Maharishi-isms. I couldn’t tell you how my adult-kids cope with the extremes cult-think or non-cult from their parents. My grown kids (3rd generation TMers) tease me as being part of the “ACC” (Anti-Cult Cult). I’ve told them to be careful because, “cult think / social enmeshment is our family illness.” Be wary of false flattery. Trust others’ behaviors over their words or kisses.
The International Cultic Studies Association runs workshops for those born or raised in cults – Second Generation Adults (SGAs), that’s you and me. The ICSA workshop for SGAs could help you sort things out, without providing another dogma. My adult daughter found one SGA workshop helpful, even though she left Fairfield at the age of 10; she is really a 3rd generation. For info on those workshops, click HERE. ICSA also has SGA mini-workshops associated with their annual international conferences, the next one will be in New York City this summer, for information on the NYC conference, click HERE.
Good for you – to access resources to help you reflect back onto your community. Breaking free is a lonely process, compared to the seeming validation of group-think, but you will ultimately be stronger and more real. As Shakespeare wrote, “This above all: to thine ownself be true and it shall follow as the day the night – thou can’st not then be false to any man.” That’s the bottom line.
Coming to your own perspective on YOU, your community and your life is an important step in claiming your autonomous adulthood! We must make difficult choices as we move forward into autonomous adulthood. Sounds like you may be on the verge of such a step!
Let me know if you visit the Bay Area. I’d be happy to take you out for lunch or coffee.
You are intelligent and determined – you will make it!
